Mother, I just want you to be happy.
Not living with you is already hard as it is. Hearing you say you want to kill yourself is seriously harsh to my soul. I hate the idea of leaving you there in that hellhole to deal with shit alone. I wish I can help, but I can't. I know how much it hurts, I know what you are facing everyday. I came from there, and that's the reason why I left.
I don't know how to show you support, I don't know how to tell you that I love you. I don't know how to make you feel better. You always said as long as I get good grades and blah blah blah, you are satisfied. But you know what? I don't believe a word of it. You think I have no idea that you cry frequently, you think I am no idea that you have been tolerating shit each night and dawn.
I'm sorry father is not helping you at all. I'm sorry brother is too young to stand up for you. I'm sorry for not being there to fight for you. Mother, please be strong. For my sake, have the will to live. Please?
The GP tutor said we will be doing social issues and family stuff this term. I'm scared. I have zero idea if I will cry when sensitive topics are touched. In school, I pride myself on trying to look fine, I'll even insist that nothing's wrong when people probe, even though fact is, something is terribly wrong at home. Many have told me that I will feel better after confiding in someone. But will the situation improve?
I hate the term "family problems", it'd be nice if people don't ask me if I have any.
Mother, I love you and I wish I could tell you that in person. But my pride is a constraint. I haven't said anything remotely sweet to you in about 10 years now, and I regret.
