My Apacer thumbdrive doesn't work. It 'can't be read from source' when I try to transfer stuff from my PC to my laptop. What use is a thumbdrive when all it does is retain information inside itself.
Don't answer that rhetorical question.
Anyway, I am currently at the Delta house, putting up for the weekend. First thing I saw when I walked into the room was a portrait drawn by my brother. A father, a mother, a sister, and a boy holding hands in an apparent garden. Very, very tear-evoking. He even labelled who's who in the picture.
He still had me in his heart although I don't live with him.
I just stood in front of his drawing and stared at it. It made me think of whether or not I had made the right choice. I chose to move over to the bigger house because of various pros. I chose to move out because I hated my paternal grandparents and their associates. I chose to move away because I thought it was for the better.
But is it?
I don't know and I don't want to know. I want to believe that I made the right choice. I don't want to regret. Family is no doubt one of the most important elements of my life. I may not show it, but I do feel it. I don't even get to see my parents and brother on a regular basis, home already feels like a hotel. I didn't plan my life to be this much of a patchwork, but I'm not blaming anyone else.
Committing myself to a high-strung place like RJC requires a lot of sacrifices to be made. Competition is rampant, and there's a plethora of homework for you to chose from. I don't have sufficient time as I would like in order to correct certain aspects of my lifestyle. Like my severe lack of sleep and healthcare. Like the salvation of my family. Like God.
I have zero idea what the point of this entry is, I guess Timothy's portrait just got me thinking.
I remember wishing that my paternal grandparents would die. I'm still hoping. Much as I want this revelation to happen, it wouldn't do my father any justice. He is a good man. Unlike all the other useless souls in this house, he contributes relevantly to the family, to society, to me.
I love my father.
I just can't bring myself to tell him that.
Same goes for my mother and my brother.
Maybe some other day.
I haven't told my family that I love them for about 10 years now. It gets harder when you get older. So if any of you reading this are in remotely the same position as I am, maybe try to open up your heart and tell them what you really want them to hear. Don't regret when it's too late.
I'm not saying anyone will die before chinese new year, touch wood. I'm just trying to spread a positive message because chinese new year is coming and that's negative.
Chinese New Year songs give me chronic migraine. So does the evil granny's nagging.
Rachel is still sick. These are her fingers typing.
