OH MY TREE STUMP.
I witnessed the greatest team flop of United last night, or should I say, dawn. Manchester United got kicked, twisted, and banged in the butt by Middlesbrough FC.
A total of 96 whole minutes saw United shamed and toyed, then left with a 4-1 sore in their hearts. Ferguson can now, contentedly, fuck his son.
The way Rooney and O'Shea played made me want to pull Beckham's hair out strand by strand. Actually, even without watching this match, I already wanted to do it, but that's not the point. Rooney thought his name was Jonny Wilkinson, but in this match, he was Jonny Wilkinson without his gonads. Van Nistelrooy was comparable to a gun without the bullets, of great potential, but only for show. Richardson, some small scale rookie trying to make it big by imitating Ronaldo's divine turns, failed utterly terribly. Not a single one of United's players could cross a ball into the box without screwing up.
I say they deserved this fuck in the butt.
Cristiano Ronaldo was sent on approximately on the 53rd minute to try his hand, or feet, at any possible salvation. How, you ask me, can he appease the situation if service is lousy? Silvestre could not stop fouling the opponent, Smith could not stop yelling at the referee, Richardson could not stop passing to the flagpoles. This was not United's usual style at all.
HOWEVER, Cristiano Ronaldo was given the club's 1000th goal in the EPL, which in my opinion is a gift nothing short of honour. He wasn't happy, to say the least. It was not up to him that Middlesbrough went out of their home stadium with four goals in hands.
What made Middlesbrough win?
I think it was the tactic. All the 888.COM players placed their happy asses in their own half and packed the area like it was a Free Flow at a bar. Two Words, Ferguson, Counter Attack. Skill-wise and talent-wise, Middlesbrough knew they could not match United's young guns. So they went for set pieces and the counter-attack strategy.
Centered around Mendieta and Hasselbaink(sp), defense was Middlesbrough's prime idea. Five players in the box excluding the keeper. Van Nistelrooy makes a turn, wham bam green eggs and ham, some defender stole the ball away. Rooney makes a pass, wham bam green eggs and ham, the ball gets intercepted. Ronaldo did try to penetrate from the wings, but Ferguson and his shitty lack of strategy made Ronaldo forced to play in the middle, a position he was not used to, while O'Shea played his ideal sides with a performance as pretty as my tree stump. More corners than the opponent, yet United could not score. Truly disappointing.
Even with fouls and bad hair like Middlesbrough, it did not take much to throw Manchester United into the oven. What a good roast it was, even 888.COM could do it, so could Sunderland and West Ham United.
Which brings me to my next set of comments. This one will be short. I was trying to juggle the night between the Chelsea-Blackburn match, which resulted in a 4-2 victory for my beloved Blues, and Liverpool-WestHamUnited match, which resulted in a 2-0 triumph for the Reds. Credits to Frank Lampard who scored twice and lived up to the name of a top midfielder in the world, and Didier Drogba and Joe Cole for being so dependable. Robben's effort was greatly appreciated. Blackburn are known as one of the most physical teams in the EPL, but the Chelsea spirit that Mourinhon built did not waver one bit. By the way, Paul Dickov of the Blackburn Rovers is a prick. A real dick, may I say.
As for the Reds, my trusty buddies, Xabi Alonso and Luis Garcia did not fail to lift the Reds up to a much needed win. Even though WHU played as underdogs, it wasn't easy for Liverpool to triumph. With the unreliable firing power of Fernando Morientes, and the nice-try-but-cannot-make-it shots from Cisse, a lot of hope is placed upon the midfield. And I salute Alonso and Garcia for their effort. People said Alonso was lightweight, I agreed but I believed. You want to know who is lightweight? Francesc Fabregas, that's who! And Matthew Flamini is a useless airhead who keeps checking himself into hospitals.
I dare say, the future of Liverpool FC in EPL 2006 depends majorly on their midfield. John Arne Risse, Luis Garcia, Xabi Alonso and Jamie Carragher are the blocks of their stagnating team growth. Without these few players, Liverpool are as good as Stoke City - Crap.
All in all, I had a pretty eventful night, juggling the three matches whilst taking two fucking obnoxious 10-year-olds in had, namely the tree stumping brother Timothy and his ARSEnal-supporting friend Bryan. All through the night, Bryan and I were bickering about Chelsea's strength and potential dominance and ARSEnal's loser attitude and larger-than-life arrogance. That twit needs to learn how to accept the fact that Wanker, I mean Wenger, is a piece of french connard (or abruti whichever way you want.)
(Connard means jerk in french, and abruti is asshole.)
